MUTE MODE = ON

Some people, still consider other people’s misery as a funny thing. You see, I have problem with my voice almost every time I have sore throat and cough: it’s gone. Yup, completely! For me, it’s misery. For others, it’s funny.

Exhibit 1:

My handphone rings.
Me : ha wo?
(whisper wih my bindeng voice)
Friend (F) : are you on a meeting?
Me : no
F : why are you whispering.
Me : I ‘aev a ‘or toat. My voice gone.
(I have a sore throat. My voice is gone)
F : HUAHAHAHAHAHA….

Exhibit 2:
Colleague (C) : Hey, my friend is coming over to my place this weekend. I want to hook you up with him. Whaddaya think?
Me : pss.. ssh.. ss?
(I’m trying to say: Is he nice?)
C : What?
Me : pss.. ssh.. ss?
(still trying with my hiss voice)
C : Good. I’ll tell him he’ll get a date whom can not talk.
It’s just perfect!
Me : !@#$%^^&*

Exhibit 3:
phone rings.
Me : ha wo?
Ex Boyfriend (EB) : hey! I already got confirmation from A, Y and D. They will
come to Plangi this Friday. How about you? Have you told the other guys about the rendez-vous?
Me : ai sss..ssss
EB : What?
Me : I sent sms
*mengerahkan segenap tenaga
EB : ih merki banget si. Kan loe tau kalo di sms anak2 suka ga respon. Telpon langsung dong. (Don’t be so stingy. They won’t reply if you send sms, just call them instead.)
Me : I can’t talk. I aev …
EB : What? Ga usah sok mesra deh ma gue. Pake bisik2 segala. Ga ngaruh, tau?
(no need to play romantic with me by whispering. No use [I won’t be seduced])
Me : PSSS PPSSSS SSHH HHSSSSS!!!!
EB : What?
Click! I turned it off with dismay.

I send him sms:
ME? PLAY ROMANTIC WITH YOU?? YOU MUST BE DREAMING! IH SORRY! WHY AM WHISPERING? I HAVE SORE THROAT AND MY VOICE IS GONE. THAT’S WHY!!

All caps.
To emphasize that his word upset me.

My handphone rings.. EB calls again.
Me : hawo!
EB : HUAHAHAHAHAHA…..

Me : click!