Learn from the disabled

Last Saturday, valentine’s day (although I’ve never celebrated valentine and have no reason to start now ;p), we conducted a movie screening and discussion. It was our routine activity, actually. But this time, it’s special. Special because I initiated the topic, and because I have ‘conflict of interest’ in the topic and because it ‘moved’ me in a peculiar way.

So the movie was about a visually impaired teacher Ann Sullivan and a deft-blind student Hellen Keller. The movie leads to a discussion about special needs student and their right to education. We invited Mimi Lusli (trainer in Hellen Keller International) and Parto (headmaster special school “Ar Rahman) as resource persons. It was a fruitful discussion.

I’ve been working with Mimi for 3 months now, but I’ve never listened to her story. I didn't know that she became totally blind when she was 17. Imagine that? I would be devastated if were her. I even cried on my sweet seventeen birthday because I was having chicken pox. I looked so horrible I though it was the end of the world! I thought no boy would be interested in me, or wanted to date me or went to a party with me. You know, girls’ stuff! I was ashamed and felt sorry for myself.
Looking back now, my misery was nothing compared to her. Well, my scar diminished over time. But her sight… is gone forever.

During her school time, she had to study three times harder than us. She must have her material read out for her, and then she answered the problems with braille, and then she must convert it again to latin script (so the teacher could understand her work). It strucked me how she tried not to force or blame the situation. Instead, she tries to adjust her condition with the given situation. She didn’t demand facilities to support her, she created ways to survive.
While me.. my complains to the situation and constraints are countless.
Sometimes I just gave in and found no reason to fight. I ‘demand’ the situation to change to my favor.

I, once again, feel ashamed of myself.

foto caption:Yansen (rawinala student)

What is it with man and skirt?

I don’t wear skirt to the office often. But during this rainy season, pants are easily dirty by water-dirt splashed from cars. All my pants are either in the drier or piling up non-ironed. So I wear skirt today.

My skirt is just an ordinary office-look skirt that flatters my body and reaches 2 inches above the knee. Nothing sexy or provoking But when I walked to the bus stop, I saw several tip-to-toe look from men passing by me. Naughty look. You can clearly see it even though they’re wearing helmet. It’s the kinda look as if you see an ice cream in the middle of the dessert.
Drooling.
I’m not exaggerating, believe me. I was being harassed.
But of course it will be silly to raise this case. The court room situation will go like this:
Judge: So, what’re the charges?
Me : Your honor, I am being harassed. This man starred at me like he wanted to rip off my clothes.
Judge: Young lady, are you sure it’s not only your imagination?
Case closed! Next!

So, I decided to let go.

It’s a different story though, if they use words. Words my friends, can be a lot sharper than knife. I can categorize this harassment by mild to severe. Things like:
kakaak… berangkat kak? (Going somewhere, missy?)
Or
Neng, ikut nyok sama abang. (Girl, let’s go to my place)
I still consider this mild.

Until:
Tukang ojek: ojek neng?(offering to give me a ride)
Me : Ga, bang. (polite refusal)
TO : neng, m***k nya putih ya?(asking the color of my v*g**a.

What on earth? I was so dumbfounded, I could barely think. And he repeated his nasty question to me, and all that I could think of is just:
Ga tau bang, ga kenal.
Pretending he was looking for someone.

If I am given the take two, perhaps it would go like this:
TO : neng, m***k nya putih ya?
Me : Ga tau, bang. Mau liat? Yuk kita ke Polsek atau Komnas Perempuan.
(Not sure, let’s check it out in police station or women’s crisis center)

That’ll teach him a lesson.

Although, I do know some nice compliment about female wearing skirt. Sometimes the difference between compliment and harassment lies on how the message conveyed, and how you receive it.
The nice one, goes like this:
“You know, in some countries, I will be sued by commenting female sub-ordinate’s appearance. But I don’t care. You do look very nice today. So sue me!”

That, my friend, is an A-class pick up line!
The effect would be: gentle beat that slowly spread to your nerve that makes your cheek warm and red, and your lips forming a smile. That smile lasts all day.

All this, because of a skirt. A non sexy skirt.
So, back to my question, what is it with man and skirt?