Tuesday, November 08, 2005

What disappoints you?

When you get poor grade on a test, that disappoints you
When your friends forgot your birthday, that disappoints you
When your friends can’t come to the agreed gathering because they didn’t get ‘CONFIRMATION’, that disappoints you
(then you start thinking, am I having a friend-gathering or a business meeting? Do friends need to get confirmation to meet now? And who should make the confirmation? You! Yes, You! They don’t bother to contact you to make confirmation; they WAIT for your confirmation.)
In short, when something doesn’t go quite what you expect it to be, that disappoints you.
You’re disappointed because you EXPECT to get good grades, instead you get poor grades.

So how do we not to get disappointed?
First, you should LOWER your expectation. You shouldn’t expect your friend to remember your birthday. They have many other important things to remember. Face it, you are not on the list. Second, you should REDEFINE your values. Your values of friendship, such as :
- stand by me through ups and downs
- take me as I am
don’t go with them. For them, friendship is when you could be at use for them. When you’re not, you have to make confirmation to meet them, on the agreed schedule. Then they will CONSIDER to meet you, provided they don’t have other more ‘important’ or ‘interesting’ things to do. Maybe you’re not interesting. Maybe you’re not important. Maybe you’re not useful. Maybe you’re not…
… needed anymore.
That gives the term “A friend in need is a friend indeed” a whole different meaning!
That’s really disappointing!