Grateful Therapy

One way to coup with your devastations, is being grateful. That’s what my Mom and God- knows-how-many-others said. Being grateful of what you have and what you don’t have. Sound so philosophic, huh?

Last week, I experienced the lowest point in my life. I felt so sad I can’t remember the last time I was that sad. It seemed everything went against me. The trigger still, well, as always.. love! Cheesy, huh?

So, my friends came up with this Grateful Therapy. Actually she didn’t intended that way. At least it wasn’t obvious if she did. She just gave me updates of the people we know over a cup of tea. You know... girls’ stuff!

Anyway, this person we both know, was a smart, stylish, successful girl. She was practically me... in better version! She had a good job and nice paycheck, and yet, she often had unlucky relationship. In fact, she had always had tragic love stories. Everybody who knew her would agree with me.

In short, she finally got married. And it’s like a Cinderella story. She met a nice guy. He was single, smart, well-educated, successful businessman and quite religious. He was perfect. And he made her life full-circled now. She was happily married and successful career woman. And we agreed that he was the reward of all her suffers. And she deserved it.

But last month, my friend said, her husband died of cancer. Her perfect husband, her knight on shining armor, her reward… just died on her second year of marriage! I was so shocked. I can’t imagine how she must have felt. I can’t imagine if she were me.. oh please no! It was just unfair. Life is cruel to her, I thought.

But my friend said, God loves her so much. God has plan for her. Blah blah blah…

Back to my life, my devastated life, I must admit that my suffer was nothing compared to her. God only took thing that didn’t belong to me. I borrowed it and insisted in having it. And when He said NO!, I was angry and sad and disappointed.

Now, I still feel sad and devastated, and try to coup with it. But I thank God I didn’t experience any worse than this.

Last weekend, when I hang out with my girl friends, this poem from WH Auden came up. And I feel it quite represents my story.

He was my north, my south, my east and west

My working week and my Sunday rest

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song

I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.